Comma Splices and Run-ons

The comma-splice and run-on sentence (and the fused sentence, as a variant is called) are examples of the problem in which two or more sentences are improperly joined. In the typical comma-splice sentence, two sentences are joined by a comma without an intervening coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor, but, yet). Technically, the run-on sentence is a sentence that goes on and on and needs to be broken up; it’s likely to be a comma splice as well. A fused sentence is two complete sentences jammed together without any punctuation or conjunction.

A comma-splice in the wild! 

We write comma-splice and run-on sentences because we sense that the sentences involved are closely related—a full-stop period just doesn’t seem right. Actually, the semicolon is the right choice in these situations (although it’s easy to go semicolon crazy when you first start using them). Here are some examples of this type of problem and their revisions:

Problem: Sometimes, books do not have the most complete information, it is a good idea then to look for articles in specialized periodicals.

Revision: Sometimes, books do not have the most complete information; it is a good idea then to look for articles in specialized periodicals.

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Problem: Most of the hours I’ve earned toward my associate’s degree do not transfer, however, I do have at least some hours the University will accept.

Revision: Most of the hours I’ve earned toward my associate’s degree do not transfer. However, I do have at least some hours the University will accept.

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Problem: The opposite is true of stronger types of stainless steel, they tend to be more susceptible to rust.

Revision: The opposite is true of stronger types of stainless steel: they tend to be more susceptible to rust.

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Problem: Some people were highly educated professionals, others were from small villages in underdeveloped countries.

Revision: Some people were highly educated professionals, while others were from small villages in underdeveloped countries.

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Problem: This report presents the data we found concerning the cost of the water treatment project, then it presents comparative data from other similar projects.

Revision: This report first presents the data we found concerning the cost of the water treatment project and then comparative data from other similar projects.

 

 

Here’s a quick rundown covering the ins and outs of comma splices and run-ons:

True/False Review

Fragments

Fragments are simply incomplete sentences—grammatically incomplete. They usually come about because the sentence may already seem too long. Also, in conversation, we typically speak in fragments. Here are some examples and their revisions:

Problem: Mary appeared at the committee meeting last week. And made a convincing presentation of her ideas about the new product.

Revision: Mary appeared at the committee meeting last week and made a convincing presentation of her ideas about the new product.

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Problem: The committee considered her ideas for a new marketing strategy quite powerful. The best ideas that they had heard in years.

Revision: The committee considered her ideas for a new marketing strategy quite powerful, the best ideas that they had heard in years.

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Problem: In a proposal, you must include a number of sections. For example, a discussion of your personnel and their qualifications, your expectations concerning the schedule of the project, and a cost breakdown.

Revision: In a proposal, you must include a number of sections: for example, a discussion of your personnel and their qualifications, your expectations concerning the schedule of the project, and a cost breakdown.

 

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Problem: She spent a full month evaluating his computer-based instructional materials. Which she eventually sent to her supervisor with the strongest of recommendations.

Revision: She spent a full month evaluating his computer-based instructional materials. Eventually, she sent the evaluation to her supervisor with the strongest of recommendations.

 

Having trouble with fragments? Watch this!

Parallelism

Parallelism refers to the way that items in a series are worded. You want to use the same style of wording in a series of items—it makes it easier on the reader. Widely varied wording is distracting and potentially confusing to readers. Here are some examples, with revisions and some comments:

Problem: The report discusses how telescopes work, what types are available, mounts, accessories, and techniques for beginning star gazers. The “how” and the “why” clauses are not parallel to the “mounts,” “accessories,” and “techniques” phrases.

Revision: The report discusses how telescopes work; what types of telescopes, mounts, and accessories are available; and how to begin your hobby as a star gazer.

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Problem: Customers often call the showroom to inquire about pricing, what items are available, and to place orders.
The “what items are available” clause does not go with the two phrases beginning with “to.”

Revision: Customers often call the showroom to inquire about prices, check on the availability of certain items, and place orders.

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Problem: While the dialysis solution remains in the peritoneal cavity, the dialysis is achieved, a process that includes the removal of nitrogenous wastes and correcting electrolyte imbalances and fluid overloads. The “removal” phrase and the “correcting” phrase are not parallel to each other.

Revision: While the dialysis solution remains in the peritoneal cavity, the dialysis is achieved, a process that includes the removal of nitrogenous wastes and the correction of electrolyte imbalances and fluid overloads.

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Problem: This report is intended for people with some electronics background but have little or no knowledge of geophysical prospecting. The “with” phrase is not parallel with the “have little” clause—this one is not even grammatical.

Revision: This report is intended for people with some electronics background but with little or no knowledge of geophysical prospecting.

Parallelism problems have to do with when the same types of phrasing are not used in the same areas of a document: such as for list items in a vertical list, or for all headings at a certain level within a specific part of a document. At times, working on parallelism of phrasing is pedantic and unnecessary. However, in many instances, parallel phrasing can give readers important cues about how to interpret information. A jumble of dissimilar styles of phrasing for similar elements can be confusing. Shown below are those different styles:

• Questions
  • How are groundwater samples collected?
  • How should soil samples be handled?
  • Must monitor wells be used to collect groundwater for laboratory analysis?
  • What should the samples be analyzed for?
• Noun Phrasing
  • Method of groundwater sample collection
  • Soil sample handling
  • Purpose of monitoring wells in groundwater collection for laboratory analysis
  • Purpose of soil sample analysis
• Gerund Phrasing
  • Collecting groundwater samples
  • Handling soil samples
  • Using monitor wells in groundwater collection for laboratory analysis
  • Analyzing samples
• Sentences
  • Groundwater samples must be collected properly.
  • Soil samples must be handled using the specified method.
  • Monitor wells must be used to collect groundwater for laboratory analysis.
  • Samples must be analyzed for specific elements.
• Infinitives
  • To collect groundwater samples
  • To handle soil samples
  • To use monitor wells in groundwater collection for laboratory analysis
  • To analyze samples
• Imperatives
  • Collect groundwater samples.
  • Handle soil samples properly.
  • Use monitor wells in groundwater collection for laboratory analysis.
  • Analyze samples.

Parallelism is more a stylistic choice than a hard set of rules you should follow. Although, parallelism is important to stay consistent in your writing. Here’s a video to further your understanding:

Capitalization

Technical people, developers, and other nonprofessional writers tend to use capital letters for everything that feels important—particularly the stuff they’ve worked on! The problem is that this practice breaks standard capitalization rules and, more importantly, makes text harder to read. Most publishing, writing, and editing professionals believe that excessive and unnecessary capitalization is distracting and confusing for readers.

Capital letters should be used for proper names—formal, official names of things and people.

For example, Tandem Corporation is a proper name; Mosaic is the proper name of a software product. However, a loose reference to the “development area” at IBM does not need caps; it’s not the official name of that area. Similarly, WordPerfect is a proper name, but not its grammar-checking feature. In technical writing, the impulse is often to use caps for the components of a thing—no! For example, if we were discussing the disk drive, the monitor, the CPU unit, the modem, the mouse, or the printer of a computing system, none of it should be capitalized. However, if we were talking about the Dell NL40 Notebook computer, the Microsoft Mouse, or the IBM 6091 Display, then certainly caps are in order.

Of course, there are some exceptions. For example, in instructions, you want to reproduce the capitalization style shown on buttons, knobs, and other physical features of products as well as on the display screens of computer programs as they are shown on the hardware—but not if all caps are used. If I have a Service button on my computer, I’d write it as Service but not SERVICE, no matter how it is shown on the machine. A common misuse of capitalization involves acronyms. You know that whenever you use an acronym in your text, you should spell it out first and then show its acronym in parentheses. Writers often want to put the spelled-out version in initial caps; you would do so only if the spelled-out version were a proper name in its own right:

• The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) was formed just after Word War II.
• When you turn your computer on, it normally goes through a process called initial program load (IPL).

Standard Rules and Reminders for Caps

Use capital letters for names of people, races, cities, regions, counties, states, nations, languages, and other such proper names:

• The Early Bird satellite was launched by Intelst, a consortium of Western countries including the United States, France, the United Kingdom, and Germany.
• Samuel Morse invented the coding system called the Morse code.
• Among Muslims, Ramadan commemorates the first revelation of the Koran and is celebrated by fasting.
• The population of Quebec is largely French speaking.
• The Middle East, culturally speaking, refers to those lands in that part of the world that are predominantly Islamic in culture.
• The Midwest includes Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Kansas, and Nebraska.
• In her sophomore semester Gilda took English, French, astronomy, biology, geology and a special course called “Key Concepts in Western Science.”

Use capital letters for points of the compass only when they refer to well-established regions, but not when they simply refer to a direction of travel:

• In the 1970s and 1980s, the major population and economic growth regions of the United States have been the South and Southwest.
• The dam is located to the west of the city.
• Oil imports from South America have been decreasing recently.
• Drive ten miles north from Baldwin City, Kansas, and you’ll be in Lawrence.

Use capital letters for titles of offices when the title precedes the name of an officeholder but not when the title occurs alone. This rule is often ignored within organizations that need to use capitalized titles of positions. Another exception to this rule involves the president of the U.S.; some styles require this title to use a capital letter, even when it occurs alone:

• The first electronic computer was assembled in the years 1940 to 1942 by Professor John V. Atanasoff and Clifford Berry, a student, at Iowa State University.
• A professor and a student assembled the world’s first electronic computer in the years between the wars.
• In the U.S., the president holds the power of veto over any legislation passed by the Congress.
• Last week, mayors from several cities in the region met to discuss an integrated system of health care.

Use capital letters for academic subjects only when they are part of a specific course title or when they are derived from the name of a person, country, or language. (This capitalization rule often gets bent a little in resumes and application letters. Typically, names of occupations and fields, and job titles get initial caps. By standard capitalization rules, that’s not correct, but the usage is so strong in these two types of documents that it has become acceptable:

• She took a course in world history called “The Shaping of Western Thought” at Baker University in Kansas.
• They consider Chemistry 301 a difficult course even though they are all chemistry majors.
• This semester Majorie plans to take French, finance, and physics.

Use capital letters for the days of the week, months, special days, and holidays—but not for the names of the seasons:

• On Monday, July 24, 1978, they celebrated her birthday at a local restaurant.
• Last fall they spent Thanksgiving in Denmark.
• In the United States, the national independence day is July the Fourth; in Mexico, it’s called Cinco de Mayo.

Use capital letters for religions, religious groups, historical events, periods of history, and historical documents:

• The telegraph played an important role in the Civil War.
• The term Protestantism is used to distinguish this faith from the other major Christian faiths: Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy.
• At the Casablanca Conference, the Allies agreed to continue the war until the unconditional surrender of the Axis powers.
• The Allies landed on Normandy Beach on July 6, 1944, a day known as D-Day.
• The Great Depression in the United States was supposedly precipitated by the stock-market crash of 1929.
• Under compulsion by English barons and the church, King John signed the Magna Carta in 1215.

Use capital letters for organization names (commercial, governmental, and non-profit) as well as their products and services:

• In the late 1950s, the U.S. Department of Defense initiated a number of projects, such as Project Courier, which finally resulted in the Initial Defense Communications Satellite Program (IDCSP).
• The IDCSP satellites were launched by the U.S. Air Force in 1966.
• Saudi Arabia has its own air force and its own integrated defense system.
• After the FCC’s 1971 adoption of a “limited skies” policy, three domestic carriers initiated operations during 1974: American Satellite Corporation, a subsidiary of Fairchild industries, Inc.; Americom of RCA; and Western Union.
• On March 24, 1980, Pennsylvania Governor Richard Thornburgh asked the Union of Concerned Scientists to make an independent evaluation of the krypton problem at the Three Mile Island nuclear power plant.
• Recently, Apple Corporation introduced its Macintosh to compete with IBM’s Personal Computer.

Use capital letters for references to most numbered or lettered items (figures, tables, chapters, parts, volumes, rooms, buildings, etc.):

• In Figure 3 a simple telegraph arrangement is shown. Unfortunately, this small amount of krypton is uniformly mixed with the roughly 2 million cubic feet of air in the sealed Three Mile Island Unit 2 reactor containment building.
• In this book, Chapter 6 discusses how to convert instructions written by engineers into instructions that can be read and understood by ordinary nonspecialists.
• In Part I of this book, the basic patterns of technical writing are compared to those of traditional English composition.

Use capital letters for objects that have individualized names:

• The first operational communications satellite, Early Bird, was launched in 1965.
• Until the Challenger space shuttle, expendable launch vehicles such as the Thor Delta, Alpha-Centaur, and Titan were used for launching space communications satellites.
• The Golden Gate Bridge was opened in 1937, and it is one of the most extraordinary bridges in the world.
• Dr. Smith has her offices in the Woods Building.

Use capital letters for the earth, sun, moon, and universe when they are discussed with other celestial bodies or systems:

• The Sun is 1.4 km from Earth.
• The theory that the Universe is constantly expanding is based on the observation of red-shifts.

Use capital letters for most acronyms, although a few such as ac and dc are not. When in doubt, check your dictionary. Use capital letters for the spelled-out version of acronyms only if the spelled-out versions are proper nouns in their own right:

• In 1969, an experiment at the Stanford Linear Accelerator (SLAC) shattered protons with electrons.
• In 1977 and 1978, NASA launched the first two High-Energy Astronomy Observation (HEAO) satellites to study black holes.
• The “brain” of the computer is the central processing unit (CPU).

Here’s a brief video covering when it’s appropriate to capitalize:

Content on this page is reused and remixed from Open Technical Communication by Tiffani Tijerina, Tamara Powell, Jonathan Arnett, Monique Logan, Cassandra Race; licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. (Additional contributors include David McMurrey, Steve Miller, Cherie Miller, Megan Gibbs, Jennifer Nguyen, James Monroe, Lance Linimon.)

The H5P self-check content is created by Joshua Ferguson for Technical Communication Across the Professions and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.